Is your personality stuck in its teenage years?- Why You Feel Lost and How To Fix It

Hi All! Here's your weekly dose of wisdom I've learnt to help you better understand yourself and the world.

Something New I’ve Learnt
This week I learnt Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. It explains how people grow and change throughout their lives. He believed that as we grow, we face different challenges or "crises" that help shape our personalities.
There are 8 stages in Erikson's theory, starting from when we are babies and going all the way to old age. At each stage, we have to figure out how to deal with a new challenge. If we handle it well, we develop a positive quality that helps us become a healthy, confident person. But if we struggle with the challenge, we may develop negative qualities that make life harder.
For example, when you were a baby, the big challenge was learning to trust your parents and the world around you. If your parents took good care of you and made you feel safe, you developed trust. But if they weren't there for you, you might have trouble trusting people as you got older.
Once you become a teen, you're in the "identity vs. role confusion" stage. The big challenge is figuring out who you are and what you want to do with your life. You're exploring your interests, values and goals. If you can figure this out, you'll develop a strong sense of identity. But if you're really unsure about yourself, you might feel confused about the future.
I can relate to this stage a lot. For a lot of my teens I conflicted between showing my true interests (identity) and playing a charcter to fit in (role confusion). A few years later, I’m now confident about my passions and want to continue to improve myself.

The other stages are:
- Toddler years: learning independence vs. shame/doubt
- Preschool: taking initiative vs. guilt
- Elementary school: industry vs. inferiority
- Teen years: identity vs. role confusion
- Young adult: intimacy vs. isolation
- Middle adult: generativity vs. stagnation
- Late adult: integrity vs. despair

As a young adult, my new challenge is intimacy vs isolation. This stage is from age 18-to 40. He believes one should aim to build meaningful relationships, whilst still maintaining your sense of self. As someone who is a natural introvert and enjoys spending time in solitude, I will be conscious of not becoming too isolated. In fact, this winter I went through a mini ‘monk mode’ (spending long periods alone working on myself). Luckily I realised the isolation I put myself in and got out of it once I felt like it was too much.
Erikson believed that if we can successfully navigate each stage, we'll develop important strengths like hope, will, purpose, competence, fidelity, love, care and wisdom. But if we struggle, we may develop negative qualities instead.
The key is to keep working on these challenges throughout our lives. Even if we have trouble with a stage when we're young, we can always go back and work on it later. The goal is to keep growing and learning so we can become the best version of ourselves. What stage do you think you’re at?

​A Question I’m Pondering
‘If money and status were no object, what would I do?’I would spend as much of my time in nature as possible. Living in a sunny place near a forest. I would still film and photograph wildlife. I’d also travel to every corner of the world and meet interesting people. I have a curious mind, so I would still keep learning useful things that will benefit and interest me. I’d also still work out and exercise.
Basically go out in nature with my camera, learn new skills, stay fit, healthy, travel and explore! Most of which I’m doing and will continue to do.
Tough. Or is it? Get some paper and write down your answers, this can help give you an idea of what you want to do in life and whether you’re on the right path.

Something to AvoidKnowing what not to do gives us an idea of what we can do. So here’s something to avoid:
​
Synthetic fabric. Any clothing made of polyester, nylon, elastane etc. These materials can be toxic and harmful as they contain chemicals like PFA and BPA that can be absorbed into the skin when heated (eg drying) or through sweat. Clothes that are stain-resistant or non-crease should be avoided. These synthetic materials can also release microplastics into the water system and are made from fossil fuels. They’re not sustainable at all!

The long-lasting effects and evidence are uncertain, but I wouldn’t take the risk, as alternative non-synthetic materials like cotton exist. These chemicals can cause infertility, hormonal disruption, and be carcinogenic. Stay tuned for a project I’m working on over summer to tackle this problem.

A Quote I’m Pondering

‘You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems’ 
James Clear (Atomic Habits). 

I love this. It’s all about creating effective systems. Anything you do more than twice should be systemised, like brushing your teeth in the morning and before bed. Motivation is what gets you started, habits (formed by creating a system) are what keep you going. For example, I write this newsletter every Tuesday.

‘The only way to learn is by doing it. Listen to guidance. Don’t wait’
-Naval Ravikant
Taking action is the only way to learn. If you know something but don’t take action, that means you understand it. If you learn something new, your behaviour changes.

A Song I’m Listening ToNarcotic by Liquido. German one-hit wonder band from the 90s, very catchy melody. I heard it once and it took me ages to find the song again!

A Book I’m ReadingTribe of Mentors by Tim Ferriss. Tim Ferriss is a massive mentor of mine. It was only right to buy his book on mentors when I was searching for advice from high performers. I also purchased tools of titans by him. Expect many theories, quotes and insights I show you to come from both books over the coming months!
If you don’t know Tim Ferriss, read 4-hour work week. If you want to know how to learn a language in 3 months, the best workout routine for muscle growth (whilst only going to the gym twice a week) and ways to be as effective as possible, saving you more time to do the things you enjoy, then here’s his blog 
https://tim.blog

That’s the end of this week’s letter, I hope you enjoyed this new structure I’m testing!

Jacob
​
Never Miss Out On Weekly Wisdom Again. Subscribe to My Newsletter:

https://naturewithjacob.substack.com/